Use Your PTO! The Holiday Guide for Remote Workers

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Marisa Eikenberry
The holiday season is supposed to be a time for joy and connection, but for many remote workers, it feels more like juggling act of work, emails and holiday plans. Sound familiar? If taking time off without sneaking a peek at your inbox feels like an impossible dream, you're in the right place.

00;00;22;05 - 00;00;34;22
Marisa Eikenberry
Welcome back to Long Distance Worklife, where we help you lead, work and thrive in remote and hybrid teams. I'm Marisa Eikenberry, a fellow remote worker. And joining me as always, is co-host and remote work expert Wayne Travel. Hi, Wayne.

00;00;34;24 - 00;00;36;26
Wayne Turmel
Hey, Marissa. How are you?

00;00;36;29 - 00;00;59;29
Marisa Eikenberry
I'm great. It's the holiday season and lights are up and things are happening. And you know, it's it's just great. But obviously we have to also start thinking about taking time off. And so there's I mean, we got to talk about setting boundaries and disconnecting and actually enjoying our holiday season. What a concept.

00;01;00;03 - 00;01;11;15
Wayne Turmel
Yeah it's it is an interesting thing. And if you have trouble setting boundaries this is the time of year when it becomes an Olympic sport.

00;01;11;17 - 00;01;14;03
Marisa Eikenberry
Oh, great.

00;01;14;06 - 00;01;44;17
Wayne Turmel
If you have no trouble setting boundaries. God love you. Enjoy the turkey and party down. But it is tough. And we're not even talking about all the family stuff that goes on it. Actually, this speaks to. And I'm speaking to my since I am now a citizen, my American brothers and sisters. Who are notorious for not taking their time off.

00;01;44;19 - 00;02;16;28
Wayne Turmel
The average American lives 10 to 14 hours of personal time in there. Use it or lose it at count. And that means they lose it every year. We are awful about that. Europeans are like, these people are morons. I can't help. But it is important that, you know, I more than once have been taken aside and said, I don't care what you have planned.

00;02;17;03 - 00;02;26;05
Wayne Turmel
You need to take this time off. And so there you go. And a lot of people are in that position.

00;02;26;08 - 00;02;27;19
Marisa Eikenberry


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Wayne Turmel
I find it's easier for me to take days throughout the years so that there is less of a chunk of unstructured time because Wayne basically loses his mind. You know, if I don't plan to go anywhere and I it's just my wife and I. So I am left to my own devices. Right. You know.

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Marisa Eikenberry
Yeah.

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Wayne Turmel
You know, let's see I transcribed back.

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Marisa Eikenberry
You know what. It'll probably actually do pretty well. But it's, it's interesting too that you're talking about this because like I actually got a newsletter this morning that was talking about, you know, taking PTO and, and why you should. And here's the things you can do. But they had this line and I wanted to remember it for this episode, but it says, remember that paid time off is more than just a perk of your job.

00;03;15;24 - 00;03;20;17
Marisa Eikenberry
It's a vital part of maintaining your work life balance.

00;03;20;20 - 00;03;26;15
Wayne Turmel
And oh, by the way, it's the law. They have to give it to you. So stop feeling guilty.

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Marisa Eikenberry
Well, that do.

00;03;29;04 - 00;03;48;20
Wayne Turmel
Seriously, I don't care about your perfect attendance record. You know, it is your time. You are being paid for it. Take advantage of it. And to Marissa's point. It does allow us to recharge our batteries, and we need to do that.

00;03;48;22 - 00;03;49;24
Marisa Eikenberry
Right? So.

00;03;49;26 - 00;03;58;06
Wayne Turmel
You know, it's funny this time of year. This time of year. I I'm just going to get personal for a moment.

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Marisa Eikenberry
That's fine.

00;03;58;28 - 00;04;21;24
Wayne Turmel
The end of the year is really hard for me. I tend not to celebrate the end of the year. I tend to go in a fetal position and obsess about all the ways that screwed up. Oh, no. I mean, basically, I hate New Year's Eve. I love New Year's Day. Okay, here's day. I've got a start. I've got a fresh start.

00;04;21;27 - 00;04;32;26
Wayne Turmel
New year's Eve is just a giant convention of all my neuroses hanging out inside my head. And, oh, by the way, let's fuel that with alcohol.

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Marisa Eikenberry
You know.

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Wayne Turmel
Sure. So. Woo hoo! So I have learned. And that's why I'm sharing this with you. I have learned that while staying busy over the holidays keeps me somewhat sane, I tend to balance it out so I will with discussion with my manager. I will work part days. I will work a couple of days and then take each day off during this time.

00;05;07;07 - 00;05;15;26
Wayne Turmel
It's also a really good chance for me to be a good teammate and cover for people who are, you know, stressed for time.

00;05;15;29 - 00;05;33;04
Marisa Eikenberry
Right? Well, and it's interesting too, that you talk about, you know, you prefer to take days over the year and all that. I, I am somebody my very first year here. And for those of you that have been listening for a while, this will surprise no one. I didn't take a single day off the first year that I worked for getting.

00;05;33;07 - 00;05;39;13
Marisa Eikenberry
That was just me as a person. I just, while I'm here, I got to take the day, you know? So unless you're hoping for a.

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Wayne Turmel
Certificate on the wall.

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Marisa Eikenberry
Because the thing is, I. What I wasn't, it was just in my head. I'm like, well, I'm supposed to go to work, so I'm going to go. Or, like, I didn't have any reason not to go. And yeah. And like, Kevin pulled me aside and was like, hey, so take your day. And, you know, because I, I don't really travel at this current time in my life and I don't really do a lot of extra stuff.

00;06;05;05 - 00;06;32;25
Marisa Eikenberry
So for the most part, I don't really have a reason to just take a random Thursday off because, you know, to your point, like I just sit at home, I go, well, I could have been working, but the last couple of years I do take a chunk of time at the end of the year. Because, you know, I host Christmas Eve and I'm trying to bake cookies with my mom and so there's all this stuff that happens at the very end of the year anyway, and it's just like all of that stuff comes together and it's like, you know what?

00;06;32;25 - 00;06;50;23
Marisa Eikenberry
Okay. And so the last I think two year, 2 or 3 years now, I've just taken the last two weeks of the year off and it's just been that's it. I'm I'm out of the office and it's weirdly been the best thing for me to do to get myself reset for January. Yeah.

00;06;51;00 - 00;06;53;18
Wayne Turmel
Not everybody can go.

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Marisa Eikenberry
100%.

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Wayne Turmel
Without a break. And so, you know, if you want to grow up and be like, Marissa, God love you. Not everybody functions that way. And so it's really important. What if you struggle with that? If you struggle that what am I going to do except obsess about work? Make a plan for that day.

00;07;17;17 - 00;07;18;02
Marisa Eikenberry
Yeah.

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Wayne Turmel
Even if it is. I mean, I have said I am stepping out. I live in Las Vegas, so I can do this. I am going to spend a couple hours on the deck with a book, me and the hummingbirds and maybe a cigar. I actually plan for that and I leave and it's it a I got to check something off my list.

00;07;40;11 - 00;07;44;07
Wayne Turmel
I sat right back and I watched the hummingbird and I had a cigar. And it's all good.

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Marisa Eikenberry
Check check check check.

00;07;45;21 - 00;07;52;14
Wayne Turmel
But plan little. What makes you happy? What is a treat for yourself?

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Marisa Eikenberry


00;07;53;22 - 00;08;16;14
Wayne Turmel
And it doesn't have to be huge. It really doesn't. But little things that make you happy. Is there a book you've been wanting to read? Is there a movie you've been wanting to see? Is there you know, my wife and I have coffee dates and we get out of the house, which is the function, because Wayne is in the house all week.

00;08;16;20 - 00;08;18;04
Marisa Eikenberry
Right?

00;08;18;06 - 00;08;46;09
Wayne Turmel
We get out of the house, we have a cup of coffee. We chat about stuff. But we make it an event. And I think that's the thing is. Well, what am I going to do with this time anyway? Get used to being good to yourself, and it doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to be expensive, and it doesn't have to be anything that any body else cares about.

00;08;46;11 - 00;09;05;29
Marisa Eikenberry
100%. I mean, I'm not going to lie. Parker and I have. So Parker's my husband. For those of you listeners that haven't heard me mention that name before, but like there has been once or twice, but we took a day off of work. Why? Because again, we were really excited about came out and we were going to play it together.

00;09;06;01 - 00;09;23;02
Wayne Turmel
Absolutely. Little things make us happy. And if you are alone at this time, plan for things that get you involved with other humans.

00;09;23;05 - 00;09;26;03
Marisa Eikenberry
Yeah, the social part is so important.

00;09;26;05 - 00;09;47;01
Wayne Turmel
It is. It's really easy for this to be hard for people. My daughter is in Chicago. She's alone. She struggles with seasonal stuff. Anyway. She has to. Yesterday she went to the, sing along with it at.

00;09;47;05 - 00;09;48;04
Marisa Eikenberry
Okay.

00;09;48;06 - 00;10;00;16
Wayne Turmel
By herself, her and half of Chicago, from the sounds of it. Just singing popular at the top of her lungs for two hours, and it made her happy.

00;10;00;18 - 00;10;09;12
Marisa Eikenberry
Thank you. You know, I definitely want to see that movie, but I'm waiting for the no singalong version for a bit, because I've actually never seen it.

00;10;09;15 - 00;10;14;00
Wayne Turmel
But that's what she has seen the stage play nine times.

00;10;14;02 - 00;10;15;16
Marisa Eikenberry
Well, there you go.

00;10;15;18 - 00;10;47;01
Wayne Turmel
So she is a little of right, but this but this is the thing is that we need to guard our time. If you are working during this season. Don't begrudge the people who are taking their time. Plan with them what's available, what's really do. What can you do to help them? What can they do before they disappear to help you so that you are not left stranded?

00;10;47;04 - 00;11;23;28
Wayne Turmel
Right. And these conversations take place kind of organically when we're all in the office together. But when we work remotely and I. If there's a drinking game for this show, the words we. So and intentional are probably the ones that will put you over the line. But intentionality is so important. It's funny, we're talking about taking time off and recharging your batteries, but you need to be intentional about that.

00;11;24;01 - 00;11;32;25
Wayne Turmel
You can't just assume that it's going to happen or assume that everybody understands or does that the same way that you did.

00;11;32;28 - 00;11;57;15
Marisa Eikenberry
Switching gears a little bit. Talking about intentionality and, and you know, when we are taking that time, but like how do we also intentionally protect that time by, you know, resisting the urge to check work messages and slack messages and emails and all that? I know I struggled with that for a very long time. I have some tips I'll get into in a minute, but do you have some tips on that?

00;11;57;18 - 00;12;20;13
Wayne Turmel
Yeah, for me it's really simple. It's just kill the alert. It's a simple. Yep. Setting. I mean, for me, it's enough that I kill the auditory work because I'm like Pavlov's dog. I hear a ping. I need to check it. Right? Right. I can pick up my phone and see there are eight messages in outlook. Well, I ain't working right now, so.

00;12;20;16 - 00;12;38;22
Wayne Turmel
But I also have 60 years of practice that allowed me to get there. But kill the alerts. Silence the notifications. It's easy to do, and you'd be amazed at what a difference it makes.

00;12;38;24 - 00;12;44;13
Marisa Eikenberry
I've had my email this off for years and it's so helpful.

00;12;44;15 - 00;13;11;15
Wayne Turmel
And if you are obsessive, just pick a time. I mean, okay. I'm an early morning riser. My wife is asleep. I'm supposed to be on vacation. I'm supposed to be whatever. I will sneak a peek of my emails just to see if there's a burning fire. But once it's done, I'm done. I can relax. I have hit the little valve on my brain that vents that stuff.

00;13;11;17 - 00;13;35;13
Wayne Turmel
And I can now relax because I know there's nothing there that requires my immediate attention. For a lot of us. It's the anticipation of, oh, my God, there's something in my inbox. I know there is. So, you know, hitting the little vent and letting the steam escape is actually better than just trying to ignore it. Stick your finger in here and go la la la la la I'm not listening.

00;13;35;14 - 00;13;36;10
Wayne Turmel
You.

00;13;36;13 - 00;14;07;06
Marisa Eikenberry
Well funny enough that is what I do is that I, I have all the do not disturb, but I know me. I know that for me, I am a recovering workaholic. And if I first of all, I get a bunch of emails just telling me that the websites have updated constantly. And so those happen anyway. But I know that if I go in to look at stuff and if I see something that's a task my brain isn't going to be, oh, that can wait until Monday.

00;14;07;06 - 00;14;29;08
Marisa Eikenberry
It's, well, I can do that right now. I'm already home. Like, I'll just go do it. I know me and so I won't look at it at all. So if if you are like me, like, that's okay too. Whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your time. I know that one of our coworkers used to frequently tell me we are not surgeons.

00;14;29;09 - 00;14;33;11
Marisa Eikenberry
These are not life and death situations. And if it is, they will pick up the phone.

00;14;33;14 - 00;15;01;00
Wayne Turmel
Yeah, it's. We've been doing this show a long time. We have given you lots of advice. Readers, listeners. I still I'm an analog guy. Dear listener, we have given you a bunch of stuff. Some of it is going to ring true. Some of it is going to seem weird. Probably we should have offered this disclaimer when we began doing this show, which is your mileage may vary, right?

00;15;01;01 - 00;15;32;26
Wayne Turmel
We are all human beings with our own individual styles. For me, quick bursts of venting and then being allowed to possibly go about my day works for other people. It doesn't. As long as it doesn't go down the rabbit hole, as long as you it doesn't interfere with your pleasure, with your relaxation. I know that being worried about stuff is counterintuitive to time off.

00;15;32;28 - 00;16;13;24
Wayne Turmel
Yeah. Defeats the purpose. Get used to it is my advice. Small doses gradually building up resistance. And that is the answer. But we all do stuff differently, and there are generalities. We need time off. We need to recharge our batteries. We need to set boundaries with the people we work with and for so that our life, work life does not overrun our personal life and steal our joy.

00;16;13;26 - 00;16;20;26
Wayne Turmel
And yes, this is grumpy old white guy talking about joy. You are allowed to have it.

00;16;20;28 - 00;16;30;08
Marisa Eikenberry
Let the record state at 1127 at 2 p.m., Wayne said. Let there be joy.

00;16;30;11 - 00;16;34;23
Wayne Turmel
And it were. And let there be joy. Darn it, it's the holidays.

00;16;34;25 - 00;16;54;02
Marisa Eikenberry
Well, and to your point about, you know, respecting each other's boundaries and things like that. So, you know, if I know that Wayne is out for a week and I might still be working and I have something that I need to talk to him about or whatever, maybe I don't send that email right now. We have slack schedulers.

00;16;54;03 - 00;17;14;24
Marisa Eikenberry
I'm sure Microsoft Teams has some sort of scheduling thing. I know outlook does. You know, if you need to get the email out of your head. So that way you don't forget. Great. Do it. Schedule it for when they come back because it's it's just not important right now. And if it is pick up the phone.

00;17;14;27 - 00;17;20;19
Wayne Turmel
And your desire to get it off your plate does not mean you get to mess with somebody else.

00;17;20;21 - 00;17;24;05
Marisa Eikenberry
Absolutely. And while it will.

00;17;24;06 - 00;17;33;20
Wayne Turmel
Things scheduling emails, you know, these little behavioral niceties.

00;17;33;22 - 00;17;35;09
Marisa Eikenberry


00;17;35;12 - 00;17;51;28
Wayne Turmel
Build up. You know we've talked before about the trust bank account and how every time you have a good interaction with somebody it builds positive will and positive will so that when inevitably something unhappy happens you don't drain that account.

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Marisa Eikenberry
Right.

00;17;53;03 - 00;18;11;29
Wayne Turmel
And these little things make all the difference. You know, you've heard me say before. My favorite quote from Napoleon. If you want to avoid war, you avoid the thousand little pinpricks that lead to war. Little things like this matter.

00;18;12;02 - 00;18;34;05
Marisa Eikenberry
So one of the last things I want to cover before we end this episode is, you know, what are some strategies that teams can implement to, like, ensure adequate coverage when team members are taking time off, especially like, you know, we're going into the holiday season, lots and lots of people are taking time off. And in some cases you're working with skeleton crews and things like that.

00;18;34;05 - 00;18;40;28
Marisa Eikenberry
So what can teams kind of plan for ahead of time to accommodate?

00;18;41;00 - 00;18;49;21
Wayne Turmel
I can't remember the last time anybody listening to this heard me say, have a meeting, but this would be one.

00;18;49;24 - 00;18;51;07
Marisa Eikenberry
Yes.

00;18;51;09 - 00;19;22;22
Wayne Turmel
Right. Prior to probably mid-November, as a team, look at what is remaining that needs to be done for the rest of the year. That is time sensitive, right? That isn't just more of the same, but what are the unique demands of the end of the year? There are reports that need to be done. There are all kinds of end of the year activities that get added on to, oh yeah, we're trying to run a business and sell some stuff.

00;19;22;25 - 00;19;23;26
Marisa Eikenberry
Crazy.

00;19;23;28 - 00;19;48;15
Wayne Turmel
So as a team, identify what those are and then talk about who's going to be a way during that time. You know, people have use it or lose it time. You know, so-and-so can't shut up about their upcoming trip to Hawaii. We know they're not going to be here, but somebody else has a bunch of use it or lose it time, and there's no real occasion.

00;19;48;15 - 00;19;51;00
Wayne Turmel
So we didn't know that they're going to be gone.

00;19;51;03 - 00;19;53;26
Marisa Eikenberry


00;19;53;29 - 00;20;19;19
Wayne Turmel
Have these conversations and maybe have a slack channel or something like that. That's just for holiday coverage. Hey I'm around. Hey I'm going to be around but I'm going to be out for two days. Something came up. I'm not in the rest of the day. Right. Keep each other apprized so that there are fewer uncomfortable. Recognitions.

00;20;19;21 - 00;20;21;20
Wayne Turmel
Yeah. Sudden recognitions.

00;20;21;22 - 00;20;38;21
Marisa Eikenberry
Right? Well, and in your out of office emails, too. You can also say, you know, hey, if you have questions about this talk to this. I know every time I do an out of office, especially if I'm the only one taking time off. Like it depends on what it is. You know, if they're talking about long distance work life, I tell them to go to you.

00;20;38;21 - 00;20;46;16
Marisa Eikenberry
If they're talking about Remarkable Leadership podcast, they go to Lisa like, I have a list. Here's all the people that you need to talk to because I'm not here.

00;20;46;19 - 00;21;13;25
Wayne Turmel
Here's the other thing with a couple of very obvious exceptions, because you are the tech guru that the rest of us aren't. Stuff gets done. The company is still standing when you come back on January, whatever the heck it is. Yeah, the building will still be there. You will still have a job. Your boss is still going to expect you to get back to work.

00;21;13;27 - 00;21;16;15
Wayne Turmel
And the world has not come to a halt.

00;21;16;18 - 00;21;18;07
Marisa Eikenberry
Right.

00;21;18;09 - 00;21;28;27
Wayne Turmel
If you are that vital to the preservation and maintenance of the business, you are underpaid and your boss is doing it wrong.

00;21;28;29 - 00;21;36;14
Marisa Eikenberry
And probably have no idea anything about delegation either. Depending on where you're at in the hierarchy.

00;21;36;17 - 00;21;49;07
Wayne Turmel
But that's something that we need to get used to, to this notion that if I take my holidays, the bill, you know, the company will fail. No it won't. Yeah.

00;21;49;10 - 00;21;54;05
Marisa Eikenberry
Well, it's like we said earlier, that man, that's a life or death situation.

00;21;54;07 - 00;21;59;18
Wayne Turmel
Yeah. It's like, take your time. It's right across.

00;21;59;21 - 00;22;19;11
Marisa Eikenberry
Do it. So I guess the lesson for this episode, listeners is that if you aren't taking your PTO, please take it. If you know that you have days that you haven't spent this year, and especially if it's a use it or lose it. Figure out when you're going to take off. Like right now. Like stop the show. Go do it.

00;22;19;13 - 00;22;38;08
Marisa Eikenberry
We will forgive you for not listening to the rest of this episode. But, Wayne, I want to thank you so much for this last live episode of the year. This last one that we're going to be recording. So for those of you that are listening, you'll hear about two weeks of replays before we get new shows up in January.

00;22;38;11 - 00;23;05;03
Marisa Eikenberry
But before we go, we're excited to share that the second edition of The Long Distance Leader is now available. This updated guide is packed with actionable strategies to help you lead effectively in today's remote and hybrid environments. Don't wait. Order your copy at long distance work life.com/ldl. Take your leadership skills to the next level in 2025. And because the holidays are in full swing, we do want to wish you a joyful and restful season.

00;23;05;06 - 00;23;26;12
Marisa Eikenberry
Take these moments to recharge. Use your PTO. Connect with your loved ones and reflect on the wins that you've had this year because you've earned it. And thank you so much for listening to The Longest Worklife for Shownotes transcripts and other resources. Make sure to visit Long Distance worklife.com. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a future one.

00;23;26;14 - 00;23;43;11
Marisa Eikenberry
And while you're at it, leave us a rating or review on Apple or Spotify. It's quick, and it helps us reach even more listeners like you. And we'd also love to hear from you. So reach out to us via email or LinkedIn with the links in our show notes and let us know that you listen to this episode, or suggest a topic for Wayne and I to tackle in the New Year.

00;23;43;13 - 00;23;50;11
Marisa Eikenberry
Thank you so much for being part of our community. We hope you have a wonderful holiday season. And as Wayne likes to say, don't let the weakness get you down.